Relentlessly pursues moth stare at ceiling light check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in
Credit: Cat Ipsum
Gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye get scared by doggo also cucumerro meowzer but somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box and cat walks in keyboard . Lick sellotape.
Stick butt in face plan steps for world domination yet pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms and eat half my food and ask for more. Funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today. Pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now lick yarn hanging out of own butt and there's a forty year old lady there let us feast but meoooow meow to be let in put butt in owner's face.
Spread kitty litter all over house try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside or chase laser. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy). Ask to be pet then attack owners hand missing until dinner time howl on top of tall thing drink from the toilet. Sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter nyaa nyaa human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. Attack like a vicious monster cat sit like bread yet nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws litter box is life taco cat backwards spells taco cat rub face on owner. Eat the fat cats food pet me pet me don't pet me but get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust or cry louder at reflection hide at bottom of staircase to trip human but bite nose of your human. If it fits i sits find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day and chew iPad power cord, and kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute?. Purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow sit in a box for hours, i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better yet check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in pretend not to be evil or head nudges . Run in circles no, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out yet cat walks in keyboard slap the dog because cats rule so spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day for don't nosh on the birds. Jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one and find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day so pounce on unsuspecting person, human is in bath tub, emergency! drowning! meooowww!. Slap kitten brother with paw.